What is the matter with me?

When i was 15 i join this church near my house and i thought the church was sigh from God and i began going every time it was open.However after several years of going to that church i felt disillusion with it and stop going.The church was charismatic church that believes that if you commit sin or had family member like grandparents that practice witchcraft or any time of ual sins that God put curse of them and the curse would be carried down to the family line allowing satan to cause my trouble.The church did lots of strange things that most people would consider to be insane and the church always talk about satan and how the sin was spreading.The pastor of the church had very strict 1950`s mentality,and always yell at me for not having job and even called me freeloader.I have thing called Asbergers which makes it hard for me to get job.The church would sometime get on to me for being late to church,and he the pastor would sing Christian song that we sometimes sing at church.I always felt like evil sick sinner who needed to burn in hell and some of the church member were so judgemal and real cricital.I recently left that church but one day the pastor wife called at house to see how i was doing.My heart began to race each time i think about how the church did to me.He one time poke me in the face for asking where we was going one time,and told me it was rude to ask person where they are going.I was told not think nor question what he did sometimes.The pastor wife told me that if i left the deliverance ministries that satan would cause me more trouble and that what happen to several people that she knew of.No one knows what it`s like to go through all that,and have to suffer all the strange cultist belief like not being allow to watch cnn because it was liberal news channel,or being allowed to express myself without being put down for it.Or having to think satan is at your doorstep trying to get ya.I really wish my dysfunctional family would understand what i went through.They say i over reacted alot,and that i am drama queen.I am 20 year ago and being Autistic with no friend s and no one to talk to really upsets me.What seems to be the matter with me?Why do my family members get mad at me when i tried to tell them what i am going through?How i get nightmares sometimes,and for my heart to start racing each time i think their going to cal to check up on me.How I think Satan is going to have his way with me because i don`t believe everything that the church said,or how God will curse me and my family line for not obey what my pastor said.And the depression i feel each time i woke up.